Notes: Well this part needs some explaining. This is NOT part of the story, Strange Attractors, currently in progress. This is a joke interlude based on a note in chapter 1. Please note that it would help if you read chapter 1, seeing as all of the following lines come from there. Disclaimer at the bottom of the page, basically I don't own the Harry Potter characters.

I thought that since I've gotten a couple of guesses for the note that I would take some time out from plot to write short stories to some of the scenarios you suggested. ^_^

The note was:

10 points to anyone who can find the passage my proofreader thought would be a good lead in to a Harry/Ron story.

No one has guessed right but I'm happy to take anyone's idea and run with it. ^_^ So this is SLASH. Just not the slash I promised. Harry/Ron instead of Harry/Draco. Whee! I like Harry and Draco the best but this was just TOO good.

Read the last one to find the actual part that caused my proofreader to giggle like the little girl he isn't. He threatens me mightily for the last sentence.(G)

--- Guess #1 ---

Damy-- The quote is, 'Harry had to admit, while slipping on the robe...."

merle chandra-- is it the one where Ron derobes himself? and "Harry had to admit as Ron slipped on the new robe," right??

~~~

Harry had to admit as Ron slipped on the new robe that Ron looked great in something tight fitting. Harry's robe, which normally did nothing for Harry's body, made Ron look like a model, hugging all the right places. Ron turned back to Harry, who quickly looked away, hoping Ron hadn't noticed Harry checking him out.

Ron moved closer to Harry, "Thanks for the robe..."

"Don't men... mention it." Harry stumbled, feeling uncomfortable for having looked at his best friend.

"It feels nice, like I'm wrapped in your arms."

Harry's head snapped around and he looked at Ron in disbelief. "Excuse me?"

Ron moved closer until they were only inches apart. Harry felt his inside flip-flop as he found he didn't want to look away from Ron's soft gaze. "You don't have to be ashamed."

Harry tried to say something, but Ron moved, kissing him gently, and Harry stopped thinking.

~~~

--- Guess #2 ---

follow that monkey!-- Good lead to a Harry/Ron story? LOL, what about 'However Ron had heard enough, looking quite red in the face he pulled out his wand.'

~~~

However Ron had heard enough, looking quite red in the face he pulled out his "wand".

"Respect my authority!" He shouted at Harry and pointed to his "wand."

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. Role-playing was all fine and good but he really wished Ron wouldn't overdo it.

Ron winked at Harry and bounced, causing certain parts of Harry's anatomy to take notice of certain moving parts of Ron's anatomy. Harry quickly glanced at Malfoy who seemed to be, at this point unable, to find any words.

Harry giggled, finding the exhibitionist in him liking this situation. He pointed his real wand quickly at the distracted Malfoy.

"Petrificus Totalus," Harry said and Malfoy dropped gracelessly to the ground when his limbs snapped ridged against his body. Harry smirked at Ron as he flipped Malfoy over, so he could watch them play.

"This should be fun," Harry said, licking his lips.

(heh an alternative to that would be following including the next sentence from the story)

However Ron had heard enough, looking quite red in the face he pulled out his wand. Malfoy was faster though, turning around to reveal his already drawn.

They thrust at each other, their wands clashing like fleshy titans. (Wait! That would be a Draco/Ron story wouldn't it? Sorry.)

~~~

--- Guess #3 ---

follow that monkey!-- or 'Harry reached for his (Ron's) wand but ended up hindered by the pink robe. As he fought it, he felt something in the robe bump against his hands'? And if 'wand' has no alternative meaning, just consider me a little perv...

~~~

Harry reached for Ron's wand but ended up hindered by the pink robe. As he fought it, he felt something in the robe bump against his hands. Fishing around in the fabric he pulled out a slender object made of rubber which was now as bright pink as the robe.

Harry wondered why Ron was carrying his favorite vibrator around in his robe. He blushed, assaulted by images of possible uses Ron could have for the toy. A sudden squeak of surprise brought Harry out of his dirty thoughts to the image of Ron and Malfoy stuck together like taffy.

"Did you both attack at the same time?" Harry asked.

Ron tried to nod but the movement tugged on Malfoy who growled and pushed back. Harry watched as the two of them tumbled over in a mess of limbs on the ground.

Harry toyed with the vibrator, thinking. "Well, now!"

~~~

--- Guess #4 ---

Lynn-- Could the line be "Inside I'm screaming, really. Hurry up and change before someone else comes along and sees you."?

~~~

"Inside I'm screaming, really. Hurry up and change before someone else comes along and sees you," Harry said, glancing away. He hoped to find something to distract himself from the temptation of Ron's nude chest but the Quidditch pitch was barren and uninviting. Harry heard the sound of fabric stretching over limbs.

Harry waited but nothing happened.

"Ron?" Harry listened as he heard Ron struggle with something.

"Harry..." Ron whined. Harry turned to find that Ron was still in his robe his shirt riding up, displaying his chest invitingly. "Help! I'm stuck!"

"Really?" Harry asked noticing that Ron's face and upper body was completely covered by the tight pink robe. He resisted touching Ron's smooth chest.

"Harry. Please help me out here with this stupid robe." Ron struggled.

Harry couldn't resist, his hand snaked out to stroke Ron's hairless chest.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?" Harry stopped, embarrassed.

"Please.. could you touch lower?"

~~~

--- Guess #5 kind like guess #1 but not quite. ---

Clara-- I'm guessing the part where Ron stripped. Harry could have checked him out ^_~.

Di-chan-- And is it the passage.. when Ron changes into the new robes? o.O?

~~~

Ron wasted no time pulling off the offending garment and tossing it to Harry, who caught it. Harry was glad Ron had taken to his idea of not wearing shirts under his robe. He just wished Ron would go commando more often.

Harry's eyes slipped over the chiseled chest down to the loose pants that hung low on Ron's hips. Too quickly the view of Ron's upper body was covered by fabric. But not before Harry noticed something.

"Hey Ron, nice pants."

"Yeah, they got doused too."

"I see you also got some in your hair."

Ron looked confused trying to see what color his hair was, "What do you mean?"

Harry leered and pointed lower, "The carpet doesn't match the drapes anymore."

Ron looked down at himself. "I wonder if it was a complete refurbishing."

"We'll have to see now, won't we?" Harry moved closer to his smiling friend.

~~~

But those were not the passages I was looking for. Good try . All of the guesses made for interesting writing chalenges. Sorry most of them were so silly.

The actual passage my proofreader caught was this one: Harry was worried about his friend and as they approached the broom shed had an idea of how to cheer him up. "Hey Ron, let's fly around the pitch for a little bit."

So...

~~~

Harry was worried about his friend and as they approached the broom shed had an idea of how to cheer him up. "Hey Ron, let's fly around the pitch for a little bit."

Ron smirked at Harry, "Is THAT what they're calling it now-a-days?"

Harry stumbled as Ron continued, "Pitch, eh?"

Harry stared in amusement at Ron, surprised to hear an innuendo like that from the normally proper Gryffindor. He leered at Ron suggestively, thankful that the other boy had picked up on his thoughts, "So... want to ride my broomstick?"

"Who wouldn't? It's about time you wanted to top." Ron backed Harry up, moving them both closer to the broom shed. "To hell with your broom. Where's your dick?" He whispered in Harry's ear. Harry shivered, silently thanking Malfoy. Bad days always made Ron randy. Today must have truly have been awful if Ron was making the first move.

Harry bumped into the door of the broom shed and quickly opened it. Ron wasted no time as he picked Harry up and carried him across the threshold. Before the door was even closed Harry's robe was flying and plenty of bare flesh was being revealed.

Harry went to remove his glasses but Ron stopped him, "Don't. I want you to be able to see all of this." He caressed his bare chest for emphasis and put on a show of slowly removing his pants.

Harry was glad that Ron had come out of his funk.

Meanwhile...

Draco paused at the door to the broom shed surprised to hear noises from within.

Draco glared at the door, mad that he'd have to find another place to masturbate. Teasing Weasley had made him unaccountably hot; the only thing better was teasing Potter.

Too bad they were both horribly straight.

~~~ Fin. ~~~

Sorry I'm evil. I couldn't help it. ^_^

I promise now I will get back to work on the real story and stop writing weird joke stories that don't go anywhere. I swear! NO! Not the tomatoes. (ducks)

-agentgrrrl

Thanks to all of the following:

()-alien eyes,blackskye, Black Goddess, Blackswan15, Clara, Damy, Di-chan, Dementia, follow that monkey!, Jessie G, Lord_Soth, Lynn, merle chandra, Narcissus Medjai, Ruka-chan, and wow.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. (it's true)