Stuff and “The Hills Have Eyes 2″ review
**Spoilers for the movie and such.**
Man, I burned my wrist over Thanksgiving… and now I look like I’m diseased. It sucks. This month feels like it’s zooming by me super fast and I can’t seem to catch up at all. I was ahead at the beginning of the month and now I’m really far behind. I keep staring at the page and thinking horrible things, then I go play with my kitty.
I’m so out of it I haven’t even left my house to deposit my pay checks.
I updated Saiko and Lavender up to where the whole thing ends, which it turns out is some time in January. I’m thinking I might run some sort of contest with prizes to send it out with a bang.
Last week I watched “The Hills Have Eyes 2″ and I decided that I wasn’t just watching inbreed hillbilly killers but that I was watching Ninja inbreed hillbillies in which their calling in life was to kill whoever they could.
No really NINJA hillbillies. They blended into the background and dressed up to hide themselves and jumped out from secret tunnels and were super duper hillbillies. I think I said “What?” at least 8 or 10 times while watching it just due to the ninja-ness of the hillbillies
There were also points in the movie where I wondered what the film making meetings were like.
“So, then these two guy meet back up with the other group that went off up the mountain.”
“And all of this stuff happened, like their car is blow up, and they found some guy in a latrine that then died, and they watch this guy that was part of the group be grabbed by some crazy inbreed dude and get all pulled through a tiny space in an orgy of blood.”
“But we think it’d be cool if no one talks about anything that’s happened. That way we can make this one girl watching this scream ‘Tell them about the car! The car! Does no one care that there’s no escape? Hello!’”
“So yeah, it’ll be awesome if no one tells anyone else anything that’s happened to them!”
I swear. Also they wouldn’t bother to I don’t know… show that the car caught on fire and was merrily burning away. No, apparently someone thought it would be better to just show the car when it was all done burning to a crisp. Which just made me think these were the most unobservant guys manning a spooky secret deserted army post ever… you’d think they’d have smelled the fire? I mean the car was completely blackened you’d think that it would have had to be on fire for a long ass time and you’d think someone would have noticed the smoke and stuff. But no.
Also people making horror films if you talk about the latrine, and you show the latrine, and you don’t let anyone near the latrine… if something is in the latrine well it’s just not going to be all that shocking.
This was about the only film where after watching the unrated version I actually wished we’d gotten the rated version. Really at this point it’s like I’m watching “Gore Porn” and I don’t find that scary or interesting. I don’t think I need to actually see a horrible birthing up close and personal in the first 5 minutes. Really you could cut away from the baby shooting out of the vagina… really. It’s not scary or disturbing, it’s kind of gross. I’d find it perhaps more disturbing if maybe it wasn’t so in your face. Pull the camera back people, please.
I find most horror films being made now have some weird thing with showing too much. It’s like I’m just assaulted with stuff that’s suppose the be “scary” and I’m sort of bored and not scared cause there’s so much of it. It seems like it’s a fine balance, too little and it’s not scary, too much and it’s not scary either. But there certainly seems to be too much and too close in the current batch of horror films being made now. Thought it could also be just a piece of horror that doesn’t interest me at all… I’m confident enough to not feel sad that there are things out there not made to my taste. Though I sort of enjoyed “Cabin Fever” (except for the really retarded parts that didn’t seem to fit the rest of the film) and that film had a lot of gross things in it.
Anyway you might like “The Hills have Eyes 2″ if you like gore. I think it might be an okay film if you have a bullet proof kink for that particular part of the horror film genre but it’s nothing particularly amazing otherwise. It’d rate maybe a 5 or a 6 out of 10 for me. Not particularly bad but alas not anything to write home about either.
I had a hard time with my suspension of disbelief in certain parts, see my ninja hillbilly comment and such but yeah if gore and hillbillies are your thing and lord knows there are people who love that stuff, this might be a good movie for you. For people who would still really like to see this film and who don’t like gore you might try the rated version. Though I haven’t seen it and I don’t know if it’s any less “we show you that guy beating that hillbilly with a rock until his head is the shape of a deflated balloon while the camera lingers on it lovingly” or not. You takes your chances. =]
Oh, speaking of horror films does anyone know if that new movie “The Mist” was any good?
It’s roughly 4 feet tall and is made up of blue large kid tinker toys with I swear what has to be parachute material for a two level house and netting for little platforms. It also has strange stuffed round shaped attack toys that hang down. In some way they remind me of some unused organ in the human body. I could say which organ and that just makes it worse.
